


Halloween

by LivetoDream333 (orphan_account)



Series: Q10 [4]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: AI, AU, Halloween Costumes, How Do I Tag, I seriously need to see Q as Cortana now, M/M, Q is found out, Sweet, Tanner is kind to Q, for real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 21:24:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4074376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/LivetoDream333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Q attends a Halloween party and a smart intern calls him out on his strangeness. James is going to threaten her to death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Halloween

**Author's Note:**

> I need suggestions for psychologically scary movies, leave your favorite one behind, i don't watch many scary movies.  
> Also, come on, Q as Cortana...love it. Don't you wish we could see that?

Halloween

 

“You have to dress up, Overlord!” One of the minions protested. “It’s Halloween.”

“We understand that we didn’t celebrate last year, but you have to this year.”

Q frowned slightly, he wasn’t allowed to leave MI6, how in the hell was he supposed to get a costume? Could he make one, possibly? “Possibly.”

“No! Q, you have to!” A minion complained.

“I’ll think about it, get back to work.” Q commented.

“Um…sir?” A small voice asked. Q turned to the newest intern and smiled gently.

“Yes, Jennifer?”

“Um, just Jen, Jennifer is my mother. Um… I have that work here for you.”

“Thank you Jen, you don’t have to be so shy, you know.” Q shrugged, taking a sip of his tea.

“I’m not exactly normal…never really fit in anywhere before. I’m waiting for the shoe to drop.”

“We’re all freaks in here, Jen, you’re among friends.” Q said looking over her work. “This is very good work.”

“Oh, thank you. I’ll just…get back to it.”

“Yes, and please nudge Kevin, he’s been playing Bejeweled for the past thirty six minutes and fifty three seconds. Remind him he has a deadline, won’t you?”

“I don’t really have the authority to do that.”

“This is Q-branch. Think outside the box. Impress me.” Q said getting back to work.

“Oh…okay…”

Fifteen minutes later (an impressive feat) Jen had assumed Q’s identity and taken control over Kevin’s screen, writing notes to him and tearing apart his screen until Kevin jumped up and got to work. Q raised an eyebrow at Jen and she beamed back proudly. Q nodded in approval and continued his work.

800Q8

Everyone was at the MI6 Halloween party, except for those who were out on missions. Eve was wandering around as Catwoman, M was Lord Voldemort, which frighteningly worked for him, Tanner was a king of some sort, the Double-os seemed to have all gone military.

Q had spent hours of research, staring at pictures to make every detail perfect, he had convinced Jen to get him a pair of really skinny skinny jeans from the store. She hadn’t questioned that he’d given her James’ card and not one of his own, and Q was grateful for it. He was starting to grow fond of her. Q had dyed them and added electronics to them and then taken a dark spray paint to them. Then there had been body paint and hair-dye and attempting to get his hair to lay flat, which it did after a long time. He’d landed somewhere between the original and the final Cortana. Even the lines of electric wire he’d built gave him the glow similar to his ‘AI sister’.

“Please tell me you can wash that off.” James commented after a moment.

“I’m water proof.” Q whispered back.

“Oh, my…” Tanner took one look at Q and began laughing, hysterically. “Well played, Q.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Q responded calmly. Tanner sighed and shook his head, a small smile on his face.

“You are interested in video games?” Tanner asked.

“They are a brilliant feat in programing and graphics.” Q said, trying to keep his voice colder, more logical than normal.

“Oh… Why Halo?”

“Statistically a superior series of games.” Q shrugged.

“Right…” Tanner nodded. “Fair point.” Q walked off slowly, sitting off to the side. Tanner sat a chair away at the bar, sipping on a drink.

“Where’s Master Chief, kiddo?” Alec asked, dressed from head to two in his Navy uniform, matching James.

“I don’t think there is one here.” Q responded even though his initial thought was to locate James. Alec chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell us you liked video games, kiddo? Maybe we could play together. You could come over to my house, double-os verses Q-Branch nerds, sound like fun?”

“I…don’t think that’s a good idea.” Q said, realizing that while it sounded quite enjoyable, he wasn’t allowed to leave MI6, especially not for social outings.

“What? Afraid you’re going to lose? I mean we are trained killers after all.”

“I fear for your pride, actually.” Q lied.

“Come on, what are you chained to this place? You know, I’ve never seen you actually leave. Do they keep you chained in the basement? Are you some sort of experiment that they try to hide away? Come on, you have to leave this place sometime.” Q tried very hard not to wince, Tanner did wince. Alec’s words were a little too close to the truth. “Maybe you’re a cyborg.”

“I’m not chained in the basement, I just have a lot of work to do.” Q shrugged. “Creating a cyborg would take a lot more time than strictly necessary. There are far more advanced ways of doing things.” Technically, there was a hint of cyborg to Q, as he did have human parts, even if very very small in measure.

“Q…everyone has to get out at some point. You’ll go insane cooped up in here all the time. I know you love your job and you love helping, but you have to slow down every once in a while.”

“I don’t—”

“I think it would be good for you.” Tanner nodded, looking at Q.

“What?”

“I think it’s a good idea. You should go. You, me, grab two of the Q-branchers and make a day of it. I’ve been wanting to take a day off.”

“You play?” Alec asked.

“Is it really so surprising?” Tanner inquired.

“A little bit.”

“Don’t judge.”

“So who are you?” Alec inquired. “Q, I get. You, not so much?”

“Henry Bolingbroke.” Tanner shrugged.

“Forgive me, my liege,” Alec bowed sarcastically. “I couldn’t tell.”

“Not a king yet, I haven’t retrieved my crown yet. That’ll be next year.” Tanner grinned.

“Very Shakespearian.” Alec nodded.

“Shakespeare?”

“Richard II? Henry IV?” Alec asked, slightly wide-eyed. “God, kid where have you been your entire life.”

“I _know_ about Shakespeare…I just…” Tanner looked at him strangely, having never heard Q stammer before. “I just… I’ve been to a performance. I’ve read them.” Q commented, swaying slightly as he downloaded them all at once. There was a lot to take in and learn. “I just…you know, never put faces to the characters.”

“My god, man. How can you even call yourself British? You have to see at least one play in your life, for god’s sake. At least tell me you’ve seen one of the spin-offs. I mean if you haven’t seen a play at least have seen something close, like…the Lion King.”

“Never seen it.”

“Okay, you’re a lost cause. I just hope you can play video games. Tomorrow, my place, bring Tanner and two other minions.”

“I’m not his minion.” Tanner commented.

“Sure, sure.” Alec waved him off, walking away.

“The jeans look good, not that I’m like, checking you out, don’t think that I’m checking you out, because I’m not, I just—I should really shut up. Rum and Coke please?” Jen called out, looking at the ground. “Sorry, Q.”

“You need to work on your confidence. And thank you for the jeans. I needed them for this.”

“Aren’t you cold, it’s freezing in here?” Jen asked, sitting down next to him.

“I practically live in Q-branch, cold really isn’t something I notice anymore.” Q lied casually.

“Right…oh, um, I just remembered, there’s something I have to show you. Do you mind stepping out for a minute? I need to run some numbers by you on the um…new gun designs.” Q’s eyebrows came together, Jen wasn’t working on the gun designs, she wasn’t on that team.

“Sure.” Q nodded. “Excuse me, sir.” Q nodded to Tanner and followed Jen up to Q-branch. “You’re not on the gun team. What do you need?”

“Two minutes and forty-two seconds, three, seven, eighteen, three, zero, zero, and zero.”

“What?”

“Numbers, my mind works in numbers. I unconsciously count, it’s just a thing I have. I just…that’s probably why I am so at ease with computers. There is always a right answer, always an explanation, always a solution. People aren’t like that, they aren’t consistent. But you are, down to the millisecond.”

“What do you mean?” Q inquired.

“It takes you exactly two minutes and forty-two seconds in the bathroom from the second you enter to the second you leave. I’ve been here a month and I notice things…and um, I would have just thought you OCD in the extreme, but I looked it up, that’s the average time. Like clockwork, three times a day, which is below average, but never mind that. Seven cups of tea a day, every day, without fail. I watched you work eighteen hours straight without tiring. I’ve seen you leave Q-branch three times and each time was for outfitting agents. I’ve never seen you cough, never seen you sneeze, and never ever seen you sign off. You follow patterns that people can…and you also set of metal detectors.”

“Every time you pass through one the code that makes them go off is tweaked, so if it wasn’t tweaked, you would set them off. Why?”

“I…”

“You’re not wholly human are you?” Jen looked at him and then her eyes widened. “You aren’t ‘ _human’_ at all are you?”

“Jen, I…”

“Q, you disappeared on us, don’t tell me you’re leaving already.” James commented. “We haven’t even watched scary movies or told ghost stories.” James teased, noting the tension in the room.

“I was just going over some numbers with Q, nothing to worry about. Am I right?” Jen asked, the last question was not to do with agreeing about their topic of conversation, she was asking if her suspicions were true.

“Yes, um, yes.”

“Oh…” Jen breathed, looking down. “Wow, um…”

“Wow what?” James demanded.

“No, it’s fine. It’s all fine. I assume we’re keeping these numbers to ourselves?” Jen inquired.

“Yes.”

“Well, we’ll have to do a more in-depth report…”

“Yes, um, sure. And how do you feel about Halo?”

“Fun game.”

“Show up at 006’s tomorrow alright, you can be my third.”

“Sure. Um, okay, um, enjoy the party.” Jen muttered and skedaddled.

“She knows. What am I supposed to do? I don’t _really_ know her. People are so complex, what if she talks?!”

“Sh, it’s going to be alright.” James promised, gently grabbing Q’s hand. “You’re going to be alright. I promised I was going to protect you, okay, even from the really awkward, smart, minion.”

“She is clever, I’ll give her that. And her brain works a bit like a computer’s I can sympathize…”

“I’ll give her a good warning not to touch you. Okay?”

“Alright, okay.” Q said leaning forward, resting his head on James’ shoulder.

“You’re going to be alright. Come on, enjoy the party, I have a minion to threaten.”

“You do that.” Q sighed.

“Oh, and I’m staying after, if you want. We can watch scary movies, you’ve never seen one before, I thought you might like it.”

“Sure, yeah. That would be nice.” Q said, straightening up.

“Alright…um, you did take surveillance down right?”

“Of course. I can multitask better than humans can, you know?”

“Alright, smartass.” James rolled his eyes. “See you later.”

“Yes, later.” Q agreed with a small smile. James smiled and left Q-branch in search of a short black-haired minion who needed to be threatened.

**Author's Note:**

> Much Love.


End file.
